#1 / The First One
Hi everyone,
I know your inboxes are currently lousy with COVID-19 emails from literally every business you’ve ever even walked past, so I appreciate you wanting to hear from me. I’m going to keep this first one short, because this week has been a year already.
I’m not going to dwell on the virus stuff, either, even though I have a lot to say, because I’m sure most of us are feeling at capacity by now. I want to cultivate some healthy distance from it (puns definitely intended), but I also feel obligated to stay engaged and do my part. So I’ve got one quick thing.
If you are an introvert, or know one, you know the phenomenon where we pray that our plans will be cancelled as we’re walking out the door, and we can just stay home. Afterwards, I’m almost always glad I Did The Thing, but it doesn’t stop that anxiety from creeping in the next time.
As the cancellations started rolling in, I experienced this same feeling, only applied to every event on my calendar for the next two months simultaneously. This was uncomfortable, confronting this part of myself that wants the world to shut down. And sure enough, now that it’s basically happening, I feel much worse. It's remarkable how quickly some actual fear has put that more generalized anxiety into perspective.
If your feelings are similarly conflicted, be kind to yourself, stay curious, and conserve your energy. And stay in touch! I’m thankful I have so many loving people in my life, now more than ever. As evidenced by this email, I'm going to seize this opportunity to connect more, write more, learn more, and have more fun.
Comfort Reading
I don’t know why, but when I need to reach for a familiar book, I gravitate toward The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich by William Shirer. This is my fourth time churning through this 1,000+ page book about Nazis. I don’t know why I'm so drawn to it—whether it's the compelling storytelling (narrative nonfiction is my jam), or knowing that the Third Reich does in fact fall in the end, or just utter fascination and disbelief that these things actually happened, that these people actually existed (and so recently!). Or all of the above. It says something about me, but I don’t know what yet.
Link of the Week
17 Real-Life Would-You-Rathers I, A Woman, Have Had to Ask Myself
I had to scour my archives for something I read that actually made me feel “positive” feelings, and the closest I got was righteous indignation. This is also really funny, and we all need that.
Mood
Joy Division — “I Remember Nothing”
We were strangers/for way too long